My scheduled c-section is next week and I am terrified. It IS major abdominal surgery after all. I know I’ve already experienced 2, but they were not scheduled/planned. I actually went into labor and tried to have my first 2 girls naturally but it just didn’t happen. This time, I was not allowed to even try, so I had to just go with a c-section. The only positive that I can find on this, is that the doctor let me go past my due date to schedule it even though she wanted to do it a week before.
Why am I terrified? Well, first of all, you never know what might happen in a surgery. I’ve mentioned it before, my girls are way too young to be left without their mom, I seriously don’t want to leave them so soon. Yeah, I’m thinking death here, I can’t help it :( The second thing I am scared about is going into surgery all by myself. I had plans to have someone watch my girls, it was a yes, but now I am not sure. I don’t mean to be a pest/annoying, but I’ve asked 3 times to make SURE this person was going to be with my girls, but so far, I have gotten no response. Our only option now, is for me to go into the OR by myself while my hubby watches the girls. This is sad and freaking scary. Sad because there’s going to be nobody in there to take pics, cut the umbilical cord, hold my hand, or show me my baby for more than 5 seconds. Scary because, if something bad does happen, I’ll pretty much be all alone.
Believe me, I try avoiding feeling this way, but it’s hard, and the closer it gets, the harder it is to not think about it or feel this way.
